“The straight dope”

No melody—feel free to write your own!

Your modern marijuana Puritan
Isn’t in a mindset where he can
Be expected to endure it in
Silence, like a good American.

Socially, he sows confusion,
Hides, ignores, rejects, and muddies
Every finding and conclusion
Of his own commissioned studies.

Science shows his preconceptions
Are undoubtedly chimerical.
Still, he blazons his deceptions,
Growing ever more hysterical.

They haven’t turned up proof concerning
Brain defects or stunted learning.
No studies backed by federal grants’re
Linking lung disease or cancer.

Claiming pot could cause sterility
Undermined their credibility,
Which was then demolished when
They said it could grow breasts on men.

A hundred scientific tomes
Proved zip on damaged chromosomes
And, once exhausting those excuses,
They clucked, “No therapeutic uses.”

Though neither harmful nor addictive,
Laws grew—and grow—more restrictive.

They juggled the statistics such
That just enough was way too much,
But can’t sustain the myth much longer
That pot’s now up to ten times stronger.

No one’s made dangerously crazy
Or particularly lazy.
Nobody’s killing or turning tricks
To earn the money to get their “fix.”

No split personalities,
Or increased car fatalities.
Though pot’s clearly not a “gateway,”
It helps promote the nanny-state way.

The only negative connection
Is harm done by their own “protection.”

They have excuses by the armful
Showing marijuana’s harmful—
Overlooking, without fail,
The dangers caused by time in jail:
Loss of productivity;
The impact on each family
From withdrawal of support;
The overflow in jail and court.
The daily threats that one runs into—
More from guards than cons—begin to
Spread resentment and cultivate
A culture of anger and fear and hate.

Info from the government says
Pot has “social consequences”—
Overlooking what they cause
With anti-marijuana laws.

They’ve tried to say legalization’s
Failed when tried in other nations.
(“Failure,” by their definition,
Means less power acquisition…)

Corruption’s now become the norm,
Defying efforts at reform.
When it’s done “for your own good,”
Evil cannot be withstood.

The War on Drugs has been designed
With power over us in mind.

Though decriminalization
Is wanted by the vast majority,
Officials would destroy the nation
In pursuit of more authority.

Copyright © 2009 by Sam A. Robrin or whoever the hell it is who writes these things. Go ahead and use it (Hey, I lifted the melody!), but if you make a little money on it, I want some!